Half Year Update 2025

Hi everyone x

In April I went on what is turning into my twice annual all night raving trip, again at the UV delight which is Tribe of Frog. The event itself was as good as the last two times we went, so I won't bore you with the details again, but there were a few other things I wanted to write about.

Leading up to it, I did a lot of shopping in person, some of it with my partner and some on my own after work. My confidence seems to be right up there at the moment in that regard. Then my partner offered to borrow me something from her wardrobe. This isn't something that has come up before and she doesn't have a lot of 'rave' clothes left these days, but I did see a beautiful lightweight kimono top which I thought would be nice to wear. I had to plan an outfit around it that is outside what I'd usually go for, but I really appreciated the sentiment behind her wanting me to wear something of hers. 

On the night, I wore a black top and denim mini skirt (my partner commented "as I'm getting older my skirts are getting longer and yours are getting shorter!" lol) and went bare legs for the first time ever too, which I'm always conscious of because of their masculine shape and how lumpy they are. When I was ready, I took a few pics (of course) and sent one or two to my partner, who said I looked gorgeous and hoped I had a nice time, which was really nice of her. She also joked that I'm going to have to buy a kimono from the same place now so she can borrow it back.

The apartment we were staying at was much further away from the venue this time, on the other side of a shopping centre which we ended up having to cross while it was busy and in broad daylight. This was the most intimidated I've felt so far being out, there weren't any incidents really apart from one guy who was clearly laughing loudly at us but which we ignored, but even when it got darker and we got the more familiar area around the club, I still felt a bit intimidated? It was busier than the previous times we'd been, there were a lot more people out than before, maybe that was the reason.

A week or so later, I went out for a meal with my partner and then found somewhere to have a few drinks. A few cocktails in and we were both talking more loosely and freely than we probably would at home. Of course the topic shifted onto me and this whole gender thing, and she said she really meant it, that she thought I looked gorgeous, and that she wanted to be more involved and come out on a night out with us sometime.

This is a massive change. I've always been open with what I do when I go out, and always invite her even though I know she would be unlikely to accept it, but she's always declined saying she's not sure how comfortable she would be and I'd probably have a better night not having to worry about her (which in a way she is probably right but isn't the point).

We haven't talked about it since, but the idea has been planted and I am trying to figure out a good event we can go to.

Since I started going out again this time last year, I feel like this has had a positive effect on our relationship. I don't know why, I think my partner has been working on herself too, I haven't asked for or expected the level of involvement she has been offering. I do worry about going too far or too fast and she has a wobble so I am being cautious, but I don't know, I am so optimistic about what is happening and intrigued to see what else develops as time goes on.

In the meantime, my next night out raving has been booked for later in the year but this time we are going all the way to Fold in London, at a night ran by one of my favourite Hard Techno music labels. The venue is supposed to be LGBT operated, so it should be a nice safe place to let my hair down and stomp my feet! :)  I'm really excited about going. Being able to go to these places, rather than your typical LGBT night out, is something I never thought possible and its a dream to be able to do this.

The Serious Bit

So, 2025 has turned into a bit of a nightmare for the Trans community and I couldn't post without writing a little bit about that as well. With our American brothers and sisters having to deal with a President intent on turning the country into Gilead and make being Trans illegal (and soon the rest of the LGB+ will follow), to the current battle over and confusion caused by the Supreme Court judgement  and EHRC here and a completely ineffective government at defending our rights, it's a scary time.

I'm so angry at how our government has let us down. Labour has been a massive disappointment (who I thankfully didn't vote for) and I'm worried that it won't be long before we get an actual far right government who will lead us down a similar path as the States.

We are under attack, plain and simple. Human rights are under attack. Bigots are emboldened, laws and statements are being misrepresented, and there are people trying to drive us all back into the closet again, or lock us up.

Trans people are just the beginning, if you aren't a cis-het white male, your rights could be next. Look at America, women are losing the vote, the right to bodily autonomy, minorities and immigrants are being rounded up and sent to camps, religious freedoms are next. It can just as easily happen here too. I feel like a conspiracy theorist when I talk like this because it wasn't long ago this all felt impossible, but its happening right in front of us, and I feel powerless to do anything about it.

Please be careful and stay safe. 

Chloe x