About Me

Hello and welcome to my blog. x

I'm Transgender. I live the majority of my life as a male but also have a need to express myself as a female. I'm not transitioning, but sometimes wish I was.

I live in the UK and share a house with my long term girlfriend and our cat. I told her in 2012 after being with her for 9 years, and its still one of the hardest things ive ever done. I'm still fairly in 'the closet', I do get out from time to time but close friends and work are still in the dark, and probably will be for the foreseeable future.

For my other interests I love aggressive or atmospheric dance music (Techno, Drum & Bass, etc), and produce as well as DJ. I don't really fit the stereotype of dancing around my handbag to Shania Twain I'm afraid, it doesn't matter how much 'I Feel Like a Woman'! :) I'm also a bit of a gamer, usually playing first person, action or post apocalypse themed games on my PS4.

Being Transgender

It's a delicate balancing act, and one that I'm yet to get right. I've wanted to be a woman almost all of my life, and when something reminds me I'm not, it can be difficult to look past. And there are a lot of reminders physically, socially, mentally... But I still need that outlet, I tried to bury it before and it almost drove me crazy.

A couple of times I've seriously considered transition, but I'm not sure it's right for me. Coming to this decision doesn't stop the Gender Dysphoria though. Whenever I see someone that looks or acts or is experiencing something I could picture I would be if I was female, it make can me feel miserable, jealous and envious, which over time can get quite depressing. The frequency and intensity of these triggers can vary depending on some unknown factor.