I hope you're well and staying safe and sane in the current climate in the UK and the rest of the world. Just when you feel like things couldn't get any worse, our government is being frankly horrific towards Trans people, using us as a wedge in an effort to overturn the ECHR and the Equality Act, which will be awful for everyone. The corrupt people who run the country make me so, so angry.
Anyway... That's not the point of today's musing. I didn't realise it's been over a year since my last post! I think that's probably what this blog is going to be now, just an occasional outlet when I have something I need to let out of my poor, long suffering brain. And today this is something I've been mulling over for a while, my relationship with feminism.
I feel like, given who and what I am, what my values are, and what my beliefs are about how women are treated by society and how they should be treated, that I'm a feminist. How could anyone not be? We should all be equal and free from discrimination, men and women and everyone in between, and this is what feminism stands for to me.
When I see the discourse around this online however, I feel like I'm very uneducated about it. I don't keep up with the latest news, read the books, follow the podcasts, and so on. I'm not academic about the subject and I'm not really an activist in any aspect of my life apart from the occasional rant online, but I feel like to be a feminist, I'm expected to be both of these things.
I see women online on various sites and apps identifying themselves as a feminist. But I feel awkward identifying myself the same way. Because am I really one? What if I'm quizzed about my feminist credentials? Have I read this book or did I attend that march? Will I pass the test? Or will I be exposed as being some kind of unknowing faker?
I think there's also an element of how I compartmentalise my gender influencing this as well. I'm not very outspoken, there's been too many years of shutting down my thoughts and feelings as a keeping being Trans a secret defence mechanism and also because men have to be seen to be emotionless drones, so I'm automatically very guarded with what I do share, apart from on here.
When I do have to be 'him', in my experience being a feminist is not something that men would go
around saying about themselves even if it was something they believed
in. Can't let that male image get bruised being associated with a word that contains "fem" eh? What would the lads say? And from what I've seen, declaring it as a male sets up different expectations because of their position in the patriarchal order.
I think about what my partner would think if it came up in conversation while I'm 'him'
that I'm a feminist, what her reaction would be. Would she, or any woman
I know as 'him' for that matter, take me seriously? Would she
laugh? Or would she think: "no you're not, you don't help with the (insert example chore here)!".
I'm totally overthinking all this I'm sure. But feminism is so important and I feel like as someone who has a foot in both worlds that I want to get it right.
Anyway enough about me, there's bigger issues to be worrying about in the world right now. Please take care.
With love, Chloe x
Bigger issues? Well, in the Top Trumps of the End Times, there's always something further up the list 🙂
ReplyDeleteBuuuttt... 😉 Maybe life could be a little better if there was more equality (or even equity) in the world. A bit more tolerance and understanding around the needs for equal pay, that that's certain health conditions (menopause) that could be looked after better, and - crazy thoughts! - what if certain medical professionals, managers, etc listened to the needs of women?
FWIW, my wife says she is a feminist and she's not read the books or gone on marches either. Maybe the whiff of gatekeeping around "but a real BLAH would've done these things" needs to do one 🙂
Does me supporting and wanting equal pay, better working conditions, and less sexism for my partner, and female colleagues/friends make me a feminist too?
Cynically, one night argue 'real men are not feminists' because that's what the the patriarchy want us to think.
Lol, that's what I get for writing posts into the night, I went a bit dramatic there didn't I! :) But, I do stand by the fact that things are really bad right now. I might have to make a few cheeky edits though to reduce the world ending tone at the start and end. :)
DeleteCan you imagine how much nicer the world would be if we were all treated equally and fairly with the things that matter. I just don't understand people who don't think like that but of course, they are usually the beneficiaries of the power imbalance.
Yeah you're probably right as always Lynn :), perhaps there is an element of gatekeeping from a small number of people that makes it seem like this almost impossible standard to achieve. The bigger picture is so important IMO but it feels like the well read small minority and those who fixate on the granular little day to day things just don't take into account the human factor. No-one can be 100% informed, 100% perfect, 100% of the time. Especially me.
And the patriarchy enforcing the real men aren't feminists attitude is interesting, I didn't but I should have thought of that. But as someone who avoids conflict as much as possible it seems like an impossible thing to break out of.
Hmm well if you think like a feminist, maybe you are Lynn? :) Maybe I'm a bad feminist, but still a feminist nevertheless?
Thank you so much for the reply Lynn. I'm aware I'm rubbish at keeping up to date on here but you always reply when I post something and that means a lot. xxx I hope you have a lovely Christmas and New Year. x
Perhaps one could identify as a feminist....? 😉 Ooh, that's going to enrage the more -ahem- non inclusive branches 😁
DeleteAm I a feminist? I honestly don't know. I'd like to think I'm supportive, but you may need to ask representatives of the feminist movement their views. This may be an interesting read:
https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/can-men-be-feminists/
Oh, and merry Christmas. 🎄