Hey, I hope you're all doing OK lovelies. x
So for about the last month my partner had to go away. Can you guess what I got up to while she was gone? ;)The last three weekends have been absolute bliss. I've been able to be me every weekend, as soon as I mustered the energy to prepare. I practiced make up and thanks to some tips I picked up from some free online makeup lessons I attended from The Pretty Fix, which I highly recommend by the way, I think I've nailed the technique for covering beard shadow (as well as possible anyway) and also smokey eyes too.
I was so happy with the way my makeup was looking. I've never felt this good about it. The 5 o'clock shadow is still an issue but I don't think there's much I can do about that, and I still need to practice getting eyeliner and lip liner straight, but I was so happy with everything else. I have sooo many photos! :)
I've definitely found some confidence now I know I can look at least a
little bit presentable. I think I've fallen into the makeup trap...
I also bought some clip on earrings too. It sounds silly because of the amount of time I've been doing this, but I've never worn earrings before. I wanted to get my ears pierced earlier this year, but my partner shot this idea down. She wants this clear definition between male me and female me, which I understand. I suppose I'm quite binary in that respect too, I don't want to appear in the middle, I'm either all girl or all boy (at least in appearance).
When I looked at clip ons years ago, they all looked like they were too vintage for me (not my thing) or for kids. But these last few weeks, I was able to find some I'd be happy to wear (thank you Etsy!). They can be a little uncomfortable when in the wrong position, but when they sit right I was able to wear them for hours with no problems apart from one pair which still pinched a little, but was bearable.
I do wish I could wear normal earrings though, or that there was a larger selection of clip ons that look like they are for daytime wearing.
It feels a little selfish but in a way, I don't want my partner to come home. I love her to bits and I have missed her, but I do feel I have to hide a part of me away when shes around and it was so refreshing just not having to do that, and for so long too. I'm going to miss this so much.
Right, I need a day trip or night out somewhere. Any suggestions?
Anyway I hope you are safe and well. Take care.
Chloe x
A post full of trans joy. Result!
ReplyDeleteI keep missing The Pretty Fix sessions as they're not on at a good time for me. Great to read that they've been useful to you and your new skills have boosted your confidence.
Selfish? Umm, that's a judgement you can make, but I won't 🙂 You might argue that if you have to hide away when your partner's back, your needs are not being met. Sometimes, a bit of compromise by everyone benefits all.
Yes it makes a change doesn't it! Especially from me! :)
DeleteYeah they are on at a bit of weird time, but I've been to three or four that covered the eyes and beard shadow and found them incredibly useful. She's so knowledgeable and tailors them to keep things as simple and natural looking as possible. But yeah, I'd highly recommend signing up for one (or more) if you can.
Between these and what I learned when I went for a makeover, I've cut my routine down, I've got the brushes/tools I need, and I'm not overdoing the makeup on my beard area. I still need to practice some things but that's expected.
What I meant by hiding away was that, I think she's a bit paranoid that she'll lose me to this, so I'm always guarded with what I say or do so nothing can be misconstrued. It's nice not having to second guess the things I do. She knows about me and would be happy for me to have space, but it's not easy with the way life is at the moment though. This month has been a total one-off.
I hope you're doing OK anyway Lynn! x
Oh, I signed up but without any replays, I keep missing them. Ah well, I'll have to fill in with Wayne Goss or Lisa Eldridge 🙂
DeleteA number of T folk seem very sensitive or frustrated by beard cover. I've listened to a few friends talk about their fear of any blue showing through. But I think we're own own worst critic, seeing things others can't. That or my eyesight has gone as well 😉
As to holding back, yes, it's a fine line between being honest, sharing, and not worrying a partner.
Still, enjoy the time you have and the memories you make ❤️
It is nice when that happens, as when my partner goes away for a few days and I can spend the time as the person I prefer to be without having to watch the clock for her return. But only for a few days at a time - I'm not sure I could sustain Susie for much longer than that, although there's always that wish at the end that it could have been a few days longer. But by then I'd be starting to feel a bit lonely and longing for company.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link to the Pretty Fix. I've bookmarked that.
As for earrings, I don't use clips-ons (they don't clip on, and always fall off). Instead I have fashioned small wire rings that are cut at one point so I can prise them open, push them on and close them back up. They pinch at first but you get used to it, and then you can hang more attractive earrings from them. Not perfect -I've lost more earrings than I care to remember on walks - but they work well enough.
Day trip out? I'd start with somewhere like a park or a nature path. Not too many people at first, but if you can greet people you pass with a good morning and get one in return it help build confidence to try somewhere like a cafe or a shopping trip later.
Hey I'm so sorry I didn't reply to this sooner, I didn't get a notification and I don't really log in so much anymore.
DeleteYeah the loneliness is hard sometimes, being yourself alone can feel empty sometimes.
I hope you found the pretty fix useful!
I am thinking of getting out of the house soon. I think I've put it off long enough, 2024 will be the year!
I hope you're well. xxx
Ah, there's nothing like time to yourself when you're a TGirl! Looking forward to any photos you might want to share.
ReplyDeleteClip-on earrings are odd. The modern ones, i.e. the ones we'd like to be seen in, give me hot itchy lobes, whereas vintage ones tend not to. So it's either looking old fashioned but comfortable or modern and uncomfortable. I guess jewellery manufacturers gave more thought to customer care in the past (I sound like a grumpy old lady now: ooh, things were better in the olden days!)
Have fun!
Sue xx
I'm so sorry I didn't reply sooner Sue, I didn't get a notification and I don't really log in so much anymore.
DeleteI have got the odd photo but my thoughts on sharing them online varies from being ok with it to being paranoid.
Haha yes you're probably right there. I wish there was a market for more choice of clip on earrings. I've seen conversion kits but I'm not sure how good a job they will do and they probably woulndn't work universally.
I have got a few more since and it is nice seeing myself with earrings anyway.
I hope you're well. x
Forgot to mention you can see some photos on my Instagram following the link at the top of the page, if you're interested. :)
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