Well as you can see on my timeline since coming out to my partner followed by my night out to BNO last year, my T life has pretty much crawled to a halt and this is frustrating. Partially this is due to opportunity, but partially motivation too. I suppose I kind of hoped I would have done a lot more by now and actually got out there more, but I havent. I really need to make time to do this more. I have been talking with the people I went to BNO with and we are looking at doing something next month which is great, but its taken too long to get to this point. Twice a year is too far apart.
Ive been off work for a week again, and ive had plenty of opportunities to do some little things. I was going to fully shave, buy a new wig and paint my nails too, but just havent. Its not lazyness, I just seem to be locked in a vicious circle of trying to justify the effort when I seem to be quite unhappy with what I will achieve.
Once again I bought a ton of clothes and was unhappy to find that once again most of it just didnt suit me at all, some of it worse than others. At least I can return it all but its so frustrating. Im very aware im never going to look convincing, but im having difficulty finding that balance where I am happy and accept it is the best I am going to look.
On a plus note, I have started ticking things off my new years resolutions. Ive actually started doing exercise! On Monday me and my partner went to Sports Direct and forked out for some running gear. As chavvy as that shop is I bought a nice pair of running trainers, some running socks, and some tracksuit bottoms for only £45... What a bargain! Since then we have been jogging twice this week and intend to keep going every other day, and once my body has got used to it and once I have worked out a routine around my shifts I intend to do either yoga or pilates on the days in between the jogging. Ive also been looking at ways to improve my diet too although havent fully decided on anything yet.