Well its been over a month since coming out to my partner now and after all the heartache and stress initially it feels like I actually havent done anything to justify it. Me and my partner have been clothes shopping, shes bought me a top, and ive dressed up at home a few times and thats it. Over the past few days ive been getting very depressed, I think partially due to this reason.
Today I decided to do something about it. I shaved my body for the first time since coming out, and have dressed up. Ive put a little makeup on but not too much. I didnt tell my partner I was going to shave and dress up and surprised her when she came home, she seemed fine with it and complemented me on my outfit and makeup. Im still dressed up now as I type this and I feel good about myself again, the depression has gone.
So what is the cause of the depression? I think a small part of it was due to not being able to dress properly, but the main thing is because I want to go out and do things as Aimee. Im 30 now, ive taken a big step coming out and now I want to go and experience things! I want to see how far I can push being Trans, find my limits and what it means to me, but I cant because I have no money. I was hoping to have ticked things off my list of 'Trans things to do before I die' by now but havent really been able to. Im getting a little frustrated now but im stuck until I get back into work.
Hi Suzy,
ReplyDeleteOh the dreaded itch, I think we can all relate to that. Finding how to scratch it can be troublesome and you will need to find your way with you new found freedom. Your situation is tricky because although your partner is accepting, it seems it's only to a point and small steps will probably need to be taken.
The tucking side of things, there's a bone of contention (no pun intended with bone!) if ever there was one. Some say tucking is a vital thing to learn and some say it's a complete waste of time. I have never done it and my style of dress is worked around never needing it. Tucking can be painful, inconvenient and has even been implicated in UTI's although there is no medical evidence on this. Nope, tucking is not something I consider important at all! The rest of your to do list is good though. There are many more things you will add to that over time as you get more adventurous.
Love,
Lucy x
Well I am going out to a Trans night out in a few weeks now and my partner seems fine with it, so hopefully that will scratch my itch, at least for a while anyway! :)
DeleteYeah, with certain outfits I dont need to do it, but there are a few items of clothing ive got where it really does stand out so I need to learn to at least minimise the appearance 'down there'. Ive seen some techniques but could never get them to work properly. I might even try forking out for a gaff instead to see if that helps.
I do hope to add more to my list as time goes on! This is only a start!!!