Well its been over a month since coming out to my partner now and after all the heartache and stress initially it feels like I actually havent done anything to justify it. Me and my partner have been clothes shopping, shes bought me a top, and ive dressed up at home a few times and thats it. Over the past few days ive been getting very depressed, I think partially due to this reason.
Today I decided to do something about it. I shaved my body for the first time since coming out, and have dressed up. Ive put a little makeup on but not too much. I didnt tell my partner I was going to shave and dress up and surprised her when she came home, she seemed fine with it and complemented me on my outfit and makeup. Im still dressed up now as I type this and I feel good about myself again, the depression has gone.
So what is the cause of the depression? I think a small part of it was due to not being able to dress properly, but the main thing is because I want to go out and do things as Aimee. Im 30 now, ive taken a big step coming out and now I want to go and experience things! I want to see how far I can push being Trans, find my limits and what it means to me, but I cant because I have no money. I was hoping to have ticked things off my list of 'Trans things to do before I die' by now but havent really been able to. Im getting a little frustrated now but im stuck until I get back into work.