Well, ive just put my card details down and booked a hotel room in Manchester from July 12th to the 14th with the aim of going to Sparkle this year. Im actually feeling pretty calm about going, but for how long!
I can already picture what im going to be thinking over the next few weeks during the lead up to Sparkle. Im ok now but as the pressure mounts I can imagine something along the lines of:
Clothes - I need to decide on and/or buy 2 day and 2 night outfits for the weekend, plus I need to buy more shoes. Do I wear dresses in the day? Shorts? Tights or leggings? Heels or flats? How dressed up shall I be for the evenings? Shall I get my nails done properly? I need to get more accessories as well.
Paranoia - Will my outfits look ok? Will my makeup look terrible (this is one of my biggest worries!)? Will I be walking like a man in bad drag? Will I get mocked and laughed at by the general public? I dont want to be seen as a 'bad-tranny'!
Social Anxiety - Will I bump into people I know from online? Will I find common ground in conversation with them? Will I get on with them or bore them? Where will we be going? What will we be doing?
Ha, reading back the above does make me sound a little mental doesnt it, but I genuinely have minor issues with social anxiety. I had it really bad when I was struggling with depression last year and it is a lot better now than it was then, but I still have to fight it sometimes. Somehow I dont seem to have a problem with it in work where I manage a team and regularly have to deal with new people and situations, but when it comes to my personal life it seems more difficult to manage and I cant get a handle on why.
Anyway... Weve booked in at the Malmaison which is a little out the way and a little expensive too, but it looks like a really nice hotel. A lot of the offers available to Sparkle attendees and closer hotels were already taken when I looked into booking, I took too long making my mind up whether to go or not. There are some cheaper places that still have rooms available but to be honest it will be nice to stay in a nice hotel. They do have a spa there and im considering booking in to get my nails done while I am there, ive never had my nails done properly before and its something ive wanted to do for a long time! Im sure they wouldnt have a problem with this!
Something I need to look at beforehand as well is body hair removal. My chest and the tops of my arms are very sensitive to shaving, and come up in large and sore spots when I shave them. Since shaving them a few weeks back the spots are still there, although I am currently covering them with Sudocrem every day (yes its for babies but ive heard it helps because its antiseptic). I think since its a special occasion im going to have to fork out to get my body waxed a few days before going because if the weather is good I want to get my pins out! I just hope the waxing doesnt cause a similar reaction!