After getting an opportunity to dress the other day I hoped it would have sated the nagging thoughts and frustrations ive been having for a while now, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect and actually made them stronger.
Im obsessed! To the point where ive actually been getting distracted in work! I cant switch off from it at all. Self analyzing, making plans, deciding where I am going with this, frustrations of my current situation, and picturing myself in different outfits and situations among other things, and then the envy and jealousy again as well.
And then ive actually been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin too which is something I havent felt in a while. Its a weird sensation to describe (mainly in my chest and upper body) but I dont ever remember it being this strong. Its usually when I am obsessing that I feel it.
Is it because its been so long that when I managed to dress up it just amplified the need because I fed it? God, it sound like an addiction doesnt it. I suppose in some ways it is a psychological addiction.