If youve come across this blog while looking for answers about your own gender identity, this post is just some advice I want to give to you based on my own experiences.
Being Trans* whether that is as a Crossdresser, Transvestite,
Transgender, Transexual, Genderqueer, something else or something in
between, or even if your not sure where you fit on the gender spectrum,
is not a choice that we have. There is something hardwired inside your
brain that means you have a need to express a feminine part of your
personality to some degree, and how much will depend on your individual
circumstances. Trying to deny or suppress your feelings is not healthy
and will only lead to more intense issues further down the line. I spent many years trying to deny this side of me and slowly it started
becoming a massive regret which I was obsessing over. This
contributed to my depression, and to a point, it still does a little
now. You need to learn to accept it and figure out how far
you need to go to be happy, and you will not be able to figure it out
without pushing some boundaries. There will be some challenges along the
way, and you might surprise yourself when you
figure out what this means to you, but the journey will be worth it.
You dont want to be in a position where you regret this years down the line, we are only here once and we are all different. Experiment
now, get out there and try it out while you can look good
doing it. You dont want to be 60 years old looking in a mirror wearing a
dress far too short and revealing, wishing you had tried this out
sooner. Im only tackling this at 30 years of age and im really
regretting not doing it earlier in my life when I would have looked far
better (and maybe dare I say it, convincing) and been able to enjoy it
more. I often think about where my life would be now if I had accepted
this many years ago, I think I would be a lot happier with myself now,
thats for sure. As it is though, im now very happy with having this
other side to me in my life. I love dressing up, I love how makeup
changes the way my face looks, I feel so much happier with myself when I
can have my feminine moments, and I would not change it for the world.
Take the time to
explore it, maybe even get in touch with other people about it. Make use
of the internet and the various Trans* contact sites and support forums
that are
out there, get chatting to people, arrange to meet them or go on a night
out with them, or find out where your local support groups are and make
a trip to one. If you are really worried or confused then go and see a
counsellor/therapist. People do need help from time to time and there is
no stigma attached
for trying to sort yourself out. If you decide to go and see one make
sure they deal with Transgender issues as someone who is not trained in
the specifics of this will not be able to help you.
Theres
nothing wrong about expressing your female side, and talking to other
people in the same situation as yourself will help you realise this, and
maybe even help you realise how far you need to go. If you can meet
someone face to face that would be best but even chatting online can
help. If you are really unsure, you can even comment on this post if you
like and I will reply to you.
Take care,
Aimee x
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p.s. I rewrote this post on 22/02/13 because I felt that I needed to go into a little bit more detail. I have decided to
keep the original post and here it is below:
Being Trans wherever you are on the spectrum is something that will never go away, it is as much a part of you as your legs are. You can try to deny it, ignore it or throw all your clothes away and try to live a normal life, but eventually it will come back and bite you, and it will bite you hard. From my own personal experience, denying it will lead to depression and also regret. You need to accept it and figure out how far you need to go to be happy, and you will not be able to figure it out without pushing some boundaries. There will be some challenges along the way, and you might surprise yourself with what it means to you when you figure it out, but the journey will be worth it.
Experiment now, get out there and try it out while you can look good
doing it. You dont want to be 60 years old looking in a mirror wearing a
dress far too short and revealing, wishing you had tried this out
sooner. Im only tackling this at 30 years of age and im really
regretting not doing it earlier in my life. Make use of the internet and the various Trans contact sites that are out there, get chatting to people, arrange to meet them or go on a night out with them, or find out where your local support groups are and make a trip to one. You dont even have to do these dressed up, but its nice to have someone to talk to who understands what you are going through.
If you think this is something more serious or you are particularly unsure or confused, there is no shame in going to see a therapist if you need to. People do need help from time to time and there is no stigma attached for trying to sort yourself out. If you decide to go and see one make sure they deal with Transgender issues as someone who is not trained in the specifics of this will not be able to help you.
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