Thursday, 17 January 2013

Finally, A Day To Be Me

For the first time in a month or so now I have finally managed to get some me time. It took me hours to tidy up a months worth of being a man, but I finally managed it. I couldnt be bothered to get the camera out but I took a quick picture with my laptops webcam  to put on here. It took me ages to go through my clothes to find something to wear, I really need to go through what ive got and figure out what I need to get some complete outfits.

So after finishing up and looking at myself in the mirror, im fairly reasonably happy with what I managed to achieve. It has however all been done under artificial light so whether it would hold up on a day trip is unlikely. And as far as my mood is concerned, im calmer than I have been over the past few weeks but I wouldnt say my mood has lifted. But it has been nice to be able to primp in the mirror (I know, vain) and actually be happy with how I look, rather than be indifferent to the hairy beast I usually look like. I make absolutely no effort with my male side whatsoever, its a pointless exercise, you cant polish a turd after all. When dressing up though it actually feels worthwhile putting all the effort in, even though deep down I know I still look like a man when I am dressed up.

My girlfriend decided to make herself scarce today after yesterdays 'incident', she left at about 9am this morning and hasnt been here all day. She said she just wanted to give me some space for me to do what I had to do today. I feel bad that she felt she had to do that and I told her she didnt need to go out, but she chose to anyway.

I really need to start properly planning my year this year. I need to start putting dates on things, when will I sort my eyebrows out (they really, really need doing), when will I start exercise, etc. Plus my plan of going to London at the start of this year really hasnt gone anywhere apart from remaining a pipe dream. I really need to start putting some firm plans in place for that too. Ive got the money, I just need to get out of this miserable funk and start to actually do things.

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