Thursday, 1 November 2012

Too Much Effort

To try and help me get through my low moments last week, since I got paid I decided a little retail therapy was in order. I dragged my partner into town and bought myself some clothes, boots and a few necessities. And since it has been the first time in a while ive actually had money I also treated my partner to a few things and dinner in a nice restaurant too. Surprisingly (well, no not really), picking up a few new bits for Aimee seemed to work, ive been feeling a lot more upbeat until today.

Because of the work situation, ive been finding it difficult to give Aimee some time. I decided that today I was going to get dressed up in my new stuff straight after work so I have at least a few hours Aimee time before the weekend, and when I got home I fully intended to do this. So I got home, had a shave, looked at myself in the mirror and then my attitude changed. I kind of realised the uphill struggle I would face in order to get ready and decided it wasnt worth it, my face is spotty from the beard growth, my chest hair has gone out of control again, my eyebrows are messy, and I realised it would take far too long to make an acceptable effort so this put me on a downer again tonight. I tried on my new clothes anyway to check they fit ok but only briefly.

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